the strangest blend of horror and comedy I've seen in a while. you've definitely got the pacing down, as well as the camera work and general cinematography, you are amazing. However, the colors still seem a bit too bright- even in the shots where you've put shadows on them. Changing the colours slightly depnding on the lighting would help sell how dark some of this is, without sacrificing the comedy side of it too much. just my two cents xx
Hey! Thanks for watching! Really appreciate the feedback and the kind words!
We're working on our next animation which is a bit different but will still have a similar tone to this one. Hopefully it doesn't take too long to put together!
Very unique storytelling style, and a very ambitious project. Try doing a bit more frame by frame stuff or effects animation for next time, that last scene really needed a bit more omph to really push it for me. Great job xx
Thanks for the feedback! :)
The basic structure for a story is here, with the joke and punchline. However, some kind of build up and reversal of expectation needs to be more clear. For example, what if there's a few interesting shots of him looking like he's warming up to the advert and feeling remorse, only for him to go back to his old habits and scream for his mother?
For it to feel like a story, all it needs is some kind of change or reversal to what happens in the second "act". Otherwise, all the elements here- the static camera shots, the neon lighting, the two dimensional backgrounds- actually work pretty well. It's just the execution that needs work. And I know this because I suck at it, too. Keep going, man- the imagery is really strong here.
Yeah I did a version that is basically what you are describing but found that this was funnier and the difference was pretty negligable. I know exactly what you mean though. Thanks for the input! I'm already busy working on new stuff I like to keep moving forward this was just a small idea tbh! A bit of a warm up!
A nice start, you've got the key poses down. However, try to work on your timing and spacing- and be a bit more creative about morphing, it can be very fun. take a look at stuff like this(although i'm sure you've already seen it):
here, the key frames are clearly defined, but it's the creative swooshes in between that really define it.
also- another tip- when making short stuff, make it a gif, and post it in the art section instead- stuff like this doesn't get too much love here. It'll also challenge you to make things loop seamlessly.
Thanks for the advice... I didn't know I could post gifs there :D
Great timing, and the style suits the tone, too. Everything was production quality, I would watch something like this over 99% of anything on TV right now. I look forward to seeing more, I can't really think of any negatives, this achieves everything you've set out to do.
everything about this really fits well- the mouth dropping off at the end of her first line, the camera work, the loose, painterly style coupled with tight animation- you can really tell how much was put into this. you've got a new fan.
Thank you so much! I realy appreciate it!
nice delivery, dude!
I especially like the way you operated those camera pans with the different field planes, that was cool- your cinematography is pretty sweet in general, actually
the footsteps could've been worked on a bit more, though- next time bring them into Audacity or something similar to try and make some variations, eliminate some of that white noise, and maybe turn them down a bit. Otherwise, good mixing- the ambiance was a nice touch
I also think it might've been worth putting more gritty textures and filters into this- while I appreciate the classic clean look of flash animations, the subject matter is anything but clean. I think a dirtier look could've added to the comedy, due to that stark contrast of clean character animation and grungy background textures. That's what made the presence of vault boy so appealing to me- that he's a chirpy cartoon in a fucked up environment. Never overdo textures or filters, you'd be surprised how a subtle change can go a long way
can't wait for fallout 4
Pretty much everything I ask for in an animated short. Especially the sound design/mixing and the background art. I've never played Dota, but nevertheless, I still found this awesome, which really demonstrates how solid it is.
I would criticise the stiffness of some of the actions here, and how certain poses could have been made more dramatic (like when she dodged the axe), but looking at your newer stuff, looks like that's kinda pointless. Either way, the timing and staging makes up for it.
The transformation sequence is my personal favorite moment- it's as if I'm watching a Tartakovsky flick.
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